Haven't got a Clue

Well to be honest, I don't have a clue what to write about tonight. I really need to keep blogging more often and right now it seems all my life is one sob story after another and I don't wanna be like that. It get's a little weary after a while if ya know what I mean.

On a lighter note, I did manage to enroll myself into more High School courses. Dun Dun Dun!!!!! yea yea I'm getting my act together to graduate high school. A message to any youngin's out there who read this. Don't be dumb, finish school, and at least try to get decent grades. Don't be a dope like me and drop out..... several times over. You'll end up regret it in the long term. These days you practically need a college degree to work flippin burgers and some greasy joint and if you live in an area anything like mine, you're going to need all the money you can get to live in the real world. Minimum wage is the lowest in Canada here not to mention the cost of living is one of the highest. The sights are great but everything else sucks butt. BIG TIME!! Reality Checks suck big time especially when you find out at the wrong time. I swear mine bounced a long time ago LOL.

So yeah, I have now enrolled myself into History 12 and English 12. I rock at English so that should be easy enough. However, History, is another story. I had to choose between Liturature 12 or History 12 and I asked myself "Which course will put me to sleep faster?" Well, History 12 it is. I did the activation questions to start it and well, let me tell ya, I shoulda stayed awake in history when I actually attended high school. I have a feeling this is going to hurt big time LOL.

So I have come to a conclusion. I am going to dedicate November 5th each year to my own personal "Beat a Dead Beat Dad Day". Why November 5th you ask? Well that happens to be the birthday of Tyler's and Damien's own Dead Beat Dad. It has now been 7 months since he has last had contact with the boys and I know they would be devistated if they saw him any time soon. So remember, each year, November 5th, "Beat a Dead Beat Dad". Find one if you have to and just give him a good cuff upside the head and ask him WTF his problem is and tell him he should go search for some balls somewhere because he obviously never was born with a pair.

Well it's been a long-ish day and I'm starting to get sleeping, so I am going to stop my ramblings here because that is basically all they really are is just me babbling incoherantly (ooooh big word) and maybe get some sleep. I dunno, maybe I'll even play a bit of World of Warcraft (World of Warcrack to all you other gamers out there)

Memories and Good Times

I just finished reading an excellent post on my friend Lauren's Blog, about some of the good times we had. As I was reading it, it reminded me of some of the good times we had outside of work. Like the first time we met LAWL. The first words L spoke to me was "Who the F*&k are you and why the f*^k are you talking to my boyfriend?" LOL long story short, I had wanted to stay friends with an ex boyfriend of mine and she was the "new" girlfriend. I explained who I was and such and that I was sorry I caused any probs. We ended up chatting on MSN for like 3 hours and managed to maintain a friendship both long distance and near and dear for about 10 years at least now. God I can't believe it's been that long. She has even dated one of my brothers and lived with me for 3 months. I will add she was the best room mate anyone could ever dream of.

I remember one of the good times we had we had just finished smokin a "J" and we ended up giving each other our own nicknames for each other lol. She was Sukh and I was Ranjeet. We lived in a heavily populated East Indian area and with those names we fit in a lil more LOL. The place where I worked (owned by East Indians) thought it was hilarious and loved it. Remember the shed out back Lauren? Where we use to smoke? and the torch lighter we used to "engrave" our "names" into the ceiling?? LOL. Gosh so many memories I could go through. Like singing Karaoke at the H with Amber? I had to get a few drinks in me and then we could only sing Bohemian Rhapsody lol. Or how about when I first found a traffic circle while I was driving with you and I ended up going straight through it, over the grass and everything because I didn't know it was there LOL. You made me feel like myself again and I was always so happy to be hanging with you. Whenever I was sad you were always there to cheer me up even though you felt like a bag of smashed "butt" holes. You are like a sister to me and I love ya to bits doll. *MUAH*

So, what has been happening in my life? Well I got to hang with the kidlets for a bit on the Halloween weekend. Now that was fun. They tuckered me out so much. Damien-Cael was Iron man and Tyler-Dean was Optimus Prime. We went trick or treating the Saturday at the one mall (the smaller of the two in town) and went to my Grandmother's house for a bit. Watching my Grandpa and Damien was a riot. Grandpa just sat there and had Damien running in circles and was tuckering him out like crazy. It was wonderful :) Then we took em to dinner and dropped them off at their Foster Parents place. Then on Sunday we got to take them really trick or treating. We took them to the bigger Mall and did some there, and then we took them over to my mom's house and Tyler-Dean didn't want to do much except watch TV but Damien wanted to hit up a few more houses. So I took him to another six before he said he wanted to go home. I took Damien back to my mom's place and we noticed Tyler-Dean was playing with something. I went into the kitchen to find what he was giggling about and it was a very life like giant spider. Well with my fear of spiders that didn't go over too well and I screamed and ran. Yes, one of my girly moments. I don't have many of them but wow this one made it count. Tyler-Dean and Damien-Cael thought it was a riot and ended up chasing me around the house in a fit of laughter with that dang spider. Meanwhile, Tyler-Dean was giggling "It's only a toy" and I'm running away yelling "I don't care that thing is gross" After all those fun and games and mom was too exhausted to care anymore, we ended up taking them home as they had school the next day.

Another part of my life away from the kids.... Well, I have someone who is very close to me has just started smoking weed, pot, dope, mary jane or whatever else you wanna call it. Needless to say I'm not impressed. I know I'm a bit of a hypocrite for saying it as I have indulged in it myself. But then again in this day and age, and living where I do, who hasn't. But I guess what bothers me about it is the fact that he was a straight and narrow kind of guy. The only thing he had been guilty of was under aged drinking with his fam (as far as I know). I dunno I guess I'm kinda mixed about it, When he isn't stoned, he can get pretty mean, rude and uncaring, but when he is stoned it seems he has the mental capacity of a goldfish. I know he "acts" that way to get a rise out of me and it does get a bit annoying, when he is asking "what we were talking about" every 5 minutes, but he isn't mean, he is pretty laid back, quite giggly which I find is absolutely cute and adorable.

I have also had experience with people who smoke it at work. The customers mainly, the are the most easy going laid back customers I have and I love it. I will say this though most of the customer both the stoners and the straight are really great people for the most part. But I also notice the change in them if they haven't smoked a joint. They seem a little more stressed out, a little more unhappy etc. I figure if, when things get really bad, we just sit back and have a toke or two maybe people would learn to just calm down and take life as it goes. I see too many people who are in a big hurry to get no where fast. They are constantly stressed, rude, cranky and they take it out on others whether they know it or not or even care that they do. I saw one customer (not a regular) who waved his fist and yelled at someone because they didn't pull up far enough ahead in the gas bay for them. Would it have honestly hurt to wait the extra 10 minutes it would have taken to fill the propane and then have the customer pull ahead? If you were in such a rush then maybe you should take into account that there might be a possibility that it would be busy and then either stay or go find a different place to get what you need. I swear that marijuana should come in a pill form that people can pop when they feel beyond stressed out and need to instantly chill.

Have you ever seen a person who smoked a joint or took a hoot off a bong or a pipe and rage on someone? No. You see it all the time with people who do crack, coke, meth, heroin etc, but you never see people who use Marijuana freak out like that. They are too happy, too relaxed, too carefree to even give a shit.

On a side note I do believe that you should NOT drive while you are high on dope. Your reaction time is considerably slower and you are still at risk at hurting yourself, others and those all around you. It should be treated just like alcohol.

Anyways enough of my blabbering, just thought I would update y'all.

Peace,

Melissa, aka Ranjeet aka Cheeks

It's been a long, rough, bumpy road!

Well lets see here, what can I tell you that's been happening. I guess I should start at the beginning when all my stress really started. It started on December 28th, 2008 when I asked my husband to leave our home. I got tired of feeling like I was raising a third child rather than having a partner, friend and lover. I was the only one working, and I was coming home and doing all the housework and making meals and putting kids to bed. Stuff that should have all been done before I had come home from work.

After that I realized how hard being a single parent was going to be. I started having money troubles and slowly sunk into a depression. That's when I made the hardest decision in my life. I put Tyler-Dean and Damien-Cael into temporary foster care. They found a home for them suddenly and left mine on December 23rd, 2009. I cried so hard and my feelings of inadequecy intensified. I sunk into a deeper depression. They were with a very nice family for a couple of weeks and then were moved to a more "permanent home" after that. The family they are with now are amazing and have been working miracles with my boys. For that I thank them.

I am currently trying to get my boys back. It is very hard. I need to find suitable housing and be able to afford to keep living there. That is extremely tough when you barely make ends meet as it is.

On the lighter side, I do get to see my boys often. Now that school is in, it is on the weekends. This past wednesday my youngest, Damien-Cael had just turned 5. Not this weekend but next weekend we are pulling together and having a birthday party for him. I can't wait. I find now I am happiest when I am talking to my boys or when I am talking to my boyfriend, Nate.

So right now I am doing an apartment search. It is hard when people cringe as soon as you say you have young children. But I know my boys are good and very well behaved and I wish these people could see that before hand or just take my word for it.

I did look at one place this last week and it was ok. I loved the bathroom though. It was so big compared to the closets I'm use to.

Well I will keep ya posted on the house search and the boys.

Thanks for reading

Melissa

Here I go Again

Well here I go again. Made yet another blog. Only because I have forgotten my login info for my other accounts lol. I swear if my head wasn't attached I would forget that too.

So this is where I hope I will be able to post my ups and downs. The things in life that make me happy (ie my kids and my boyfriend). The trials and tribulations that I am going through. My successes and things I have learned not to do again (yet I always manage to do again).

Now if this is a day to day blog why did I name it Autistic Inspirationz? Well my oldest son Tyler-Dean (7 years old) was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder / Not Otherwise Specified (PDD/NOS) which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). He has been my inspiration in many things such as trying to be a better mom, always testing my patience, pushing my boundaries, and also giving me much strength to do things I never thought I could do.

Now this won't be mostly about Tyler-Dean. I also have another son who I couldn't leave out. His name is Damien-Cael. He is a pure joy. Smart, funny, cheeky, energetic and his brother's protector. He is constantly coming up with the wittiest comments and saying the most hilarious things. He is going to be my ladies man. He is going to be 5 next week and he already has swarms of girls of all ages for all reasons. But for someone who is only 5 years old he has managed to step into the shoes of being his brother's friend, protector, and advocate. When Tyler-Dean is sad, Damien-Cael rushes to his side to find out whats wrong. When someone gets in Tyler-Dean's bad books, that person is in Damien-Cael's bad books too. Don't get me wrong though, the little darling also doesn't pass up a chance to boss his big brother around lol.

I would like to thank my friend Lauren who has given me the inspiration to do this again. I got the inspiration after reading her blog that made me laugh and relate. She is a great person who has a great blog. You should check it out here.